My husband and I have been married for a little over 2 years, and he is my best friend and I'm his. Right after we got married we were diagnosed with an infertility disorder (it's me not him) and we can't have children. Well in the past year I have noticed that we are only having sex every 2-3 months and when we first got married it was 1-3 times a day. He seems really distant, and I have been trying to give him everything he wants (bought him a 50inch LCD TV for birthday) in an effort to make him a happy person again. He seems to just mope around the house, and won't kiss me and when I try to initiate things he just shrugs me off. He doesn't even laugh at my jokes anymore. Help!!! What do I do!!
i think he's doing this because you can't have any children?
maybe you can adopt one and that might make him happy :)
as the previous answerer has said i also suggest you to go to professional counselling tho.
Sounds very hard.
Hes probably doubting his manhood and purpose in life.
You're doing the right thing, but I suggest sitting down and talking to him. Its not easy. These are issues he probably doesn't think talking about will help.
Tell him how you're feeling too.
Are you sure it's you? Or maybe there is something else going on his life?
Whoa, sex 1-3 times a day?
Does he really want children? Is that why he is upset? Maybe you should talk to him about alternatives like adoption.
If that's not the case then just walk around the house naked.
i would advise professional counseling..
Mine don't neither
I think he has some issues with depression and needs to see a therapist. He also may want to just sulk and feel bad for himself, there are many options for people in your position, he should stop moping and try to come up with some ideas with you. Boundless Line: Why Does My Husband Earn More?::
Sep 23, 2008 My husband does all the cooking, dr's appts,etc. as well. It would be difficult for me to do my job if it weren't for his help at home.
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It sounds like he is suffering from depression and I know for a fact it is not your problem. Depression is a chemical in-balance in the brain that will leave you feeling listless and hopeless. I suggest the two of you go see a doctor right away. This is a very deep and personal problem the two of you share. Stay close to your friends and family you are going to need them to help you see through this.
Best of luck to you both....
He needs counseling he is having a reaction re not being able to have kids and is taking it out on you by being passive/aggressive.
you need to talk to him...we don't know what he is thinking. i would first try waiting for him when he comes home with just a little something on to get the fire going and seduce him. if this does not work you need to really TALK TO HIM! The Runner's Perspective: My Husband Doesn't Get It::
My Husband Doesn't Get It. Brian just doesn't get it. I know he's trying to look out for my best interests but he just doesn't understand.
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MY HUSBAND DOESN'T DO HIS SHARE::
sharing housework: what happens when the husband doesn't do his sharesome advice
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divorce
Rather than buy him gifts just sit him down and have an open honest discussion. Explain your frustrations and worries and figure out why he isn't happy. These types of things will only progress if not dealt with right away, so do what's best for the both of you! If it's the child issue that's depressing him there are always other options! Get to the root of his emotions and go from there.
Apparently your bying him the TV has made him happy as that's all he cares to do now. So...good choice on that one.
Have an affair. Its that simple. If you need to get laid go elsewhere as it apparently ain't forthcoming where you are now.
What? Shocked that I'd even suggest that?
Got a better solution to your problem?
maybe the kid thing is killing him, i aint a pro but i dealt with the problem before.
1. have a very serious talk with him about what you want, it wont hurt to try mind you
2. a marriage counselor would be worth the money, that person might fix things
3. force him into submission that works but its risky
and yeah that's it
- Try to initiate more, and in different ways. Mail him an invitation to dinner, or to a night at a hotel, etc.
If he still stays the way he is:
- Confront him. Ask him for his point of view - what has changed "you the couple", what changes he wants, and what can get you back to your honeymoon?
Maybe you need alternative solutions to the 'baby issue'. It could be the reason he is upset. Or it could be an excuse.
Just organize your thoughts, and tell him exactly how you feel and what you think. Ask him to open up and tell you what's going on in his mind.
You can't have kids so there is no biological interest in you anymore, if you love him set him free.
I'm not married. But I would say you could bring him to where you've always been before you get married to remind him the feeling and the reason he married you. Then you could tell him you both could adopt a child.
He's lost complete interest in you. Sit down with him and talk it out. You're living a one sided relationship.
awwwww that's so sad. : ( have you tried asking him what he is wrong? try cuddling with him. i hope it gets better and whatever you do really try to not get divorced.
Talk to him! It seems you haven't asked him what's bothering him or what's on his mind. Take some time and have a real heart to heart, remember that you guys love each other. You're a married couple, you're a team! Work together! I wish you the best : ) Go Team!!
Talk to him, just tell him everything you wrote down.
Big screen TVs do NOT fix the problem you are having with your husband. You both need to get back to basics with one another. Communication is key and the rest will follow.
First off, I'm sorry. Have you tried a new haircut? Maybe a new hair color? Maybe go on a vacation together. Most importantly seek professional help.
I'm not sure of your ages here and that's a very important key. You see, when men reach their mid life crisis and suddenly find themselves with a pot belly or less muscles in their body... they tend to introvert themselves and this because they go through a period of depression somehow the same way that woman go through menopause. They don't feel attractive anymore and they just let themselves go physically. Not all of them but some of them. You need to look at the big picture. Are you having financial problems? Or family problems? He may feel too stressed out to be interested or even overworked! I'm in the same boat I too married my best friend 5 yrs ago and we do have less sex but we went from 2-3 times a day to once a week and I did have a marriage prior to my present one from 1991-2000 that we only had sex once a month and being in my 20's I just couldn't handle that and we drifted apart and divorced. We were better friends than lovers.
It sounds like he was really looking forward to children. Is he open to adoption?
Another thought - maybe he is picking up signals that you are disappointed and he doesn't know how to make you feel good again. If this is the case you really need to reassure him that you are ok, if he knows that you are ok he will be ok.
go for personal counselling
tell him that ya'll should talk. ask him the reason for his behavior. ask him if his infertility is the reason if yes then ask him if he wants to leave u. tell him that he can go. cry like hell so that he notices. if he really loves u then he will stop behaving like that. if he doesn't then you deserve someone better than him. remember Monica and Chandler from friends. amazing couple
Not making love as often as you used to when you first met/got married is completely normal. However, I think that maybe because you were diagnosed with a infertility disorder and he may have wanted kids, this can affect your sex life. The best advice I can give you is to speak to him one-on-one and discuss your feelings. Not to put any ideas in your head but you don't want him to go and seek it elsewhere.
There are tons of other ways you can have a baby, maybe talk to him about adopting our having a surrogate mother.
Either way you should try talking to him, maybe you guys need to take a vacation together, get some excitement back in your marriage.
Or maybe it would be best to get some counseling.
Try talking to him ask him this" do you still feel the same about me as you did when we first got married" and if he says ya then ask him why are you being so distant. if he says no ask him why he never told you this before and just explain to him how you feel you guys need ti talk it out and see whats going on
HOPE IT WORKS OUT :)
you should knwo that he is a gay....
we have been havign an affair...
he gives me the ol' backdoor every thursday....
those business meetings he tells you about are fake
 How do I file for annulment if the marriage has past 12 years?
 Do extra marital affairs often work out into real relationships?
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My husband doesn't show affection anymore... help?