I'm 20 and he is 23. We are staying together and it seems like she is just jealous, But i don't know what to do, about 3 months ago we went away for the weekend, When she phoned him, and he told her that we were away, she said that he can spend time with me, and not her, and she ignored him for a week, When we were away she came into his flat(at that time we were not Living together) and changed everything.
and she knew that we want to buy our own thing. When he told her, she was upset again, and ignored him. This weekend she came and visit for the day.Then she asked my fiance' for his works clothes she wants to wash it.Then he told her, that i did clean it for him..Then she just took her bags and went home, again ignoring him..I don't know what to do, its not that I'm seeing something that is not there. Every time he's talking about us, she's just quiet.It seems like every thing i do for him, she wants to do better.
I'm so unhappy inside about this. And i don't want this to change our happiness. Please can someone give me advise on whats going on with her, and how i should handle it..Thank you in advance
Typical Mother. She feels like he doesn't need her anymore. Just let her have some time and maybe even make it a point to set a side a few things she might be able to do for him so she feels included in his life. Maybe you could even call her and ask something silly like... "He got this stain on his shirt I have no idea how to get it out... would you mind if I brought it over for you to look at?"
I went through the same thing with my mother in law. She's just feeling unneeded right now, like you're taking her baby from her. He needs to talk to her and reassure her that he'll always need her in his life, she's his mom. Just try to put yourself in her shoes, she spent 23 years of her life doing everything for him, cooking for him, cleaning up after him, taking care of him. And now he has you and it feels like he doesn't need her anymore. I wouldn't call her "jealous" more like she's afraid to let him go. Try to make this transition alittle easier on her, maybe this week you just didn't get the chance to do his laundry so maybe she wouldn't mind doing it? Or maybe his birthday is coming up and you'd really like to throw him a small party, but you can't do it without her help. Etc.
You're her Public Enemy Number One. You've stolen her "baby boy." Ignore her, she can get glad the same way she got mad.
It is going to have to be your fiance who does the talking.
He needs to go over and sit her down and explain that
she is not losing a son, but gaining a daughter.
After he gives her the facts to deal with, you can come
up with ways to involve her in your lives.
Ask her to lunch
Invite her for dinner
Ask her advice
If she feels welcomed into your lives, she might stop
with all of the negative behavior.
If she refuses to be involved, it will be time for a dose of
her own medicine.
He will have to stop calling and answering her calls for
a while.
Best wishes
She just needs to be needed. Next time she is around and he goes out of the room ask her how to get a stain out of his shirt or about a recipe or something. Don't make it obvious that you already know. Or give her a picture of him that you took outdoors on one of your outings. Tell her you knew she would love it and wanted her to have it. Be kind to her. She can't seem to understand her place. Maybe she doesn't like you. Maybe she thinks your a ho. Or maybe she can't let go. Maybe she is afraid of not being needed anymore. Help her to feel needed. Involve her. But don't take it too far. Like don't take her on your private outings or parties. You could ask her for dinner and let her help you make it.
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Is my Fiance's mother just Jealous? ?