There are many kinds of love and romantic love is different from the others. Parental love tends to be more constant and to exert an almost involuntary pull on our emotions, a compelling and ionizing draw toward commitment and sacrifice. In contrast, romantic love goes through stages, starting with attraction, going to a decision-making or elective phase, followed by a stage in which emotions are strengthening, but still conditional, followed by passionate commitment, distinguished by joy in deep emotional union and, usually at this point, a hunger for lifetime commitment.

This is typically the high point, and most couples have a hard time keeping the emotional intensity from dissipating over time. Complementing the way romantic love tends to evolve and change is its tendency to be volatile--much more so than, say, maternal love. For while maternal love can withstand severe bad news about its object, the right kind of adulterous bad tidings can often turn the strongest romantic love into virulent hatred, complete with bloodlust for revenge.

Okay, so this is a lot of information. And stretching it out this way gives it an almost clinical texture. Can we use it for formulating a strategy to strengthen romantic relationships? Maybe. Perhaps by working backwards. The tendency for relationships to run down over time parallels Murphys law, which says that things left to themselves tend to deteriorate. The trick then is to not leave things to themselves. Instead we plan for things to go well and then execute the plan with high energy. Thats a good start, but its also common knowledge. What about the info on loves volatility?

That reminds us of a property of life that we tend to forget, namely, that living is irreversible. The life once snuffed out cannot be restored. Relationships are delicate and subject to permanent damage by rash acts. Worse yet, we tend to remember and relive the pain in a way that makes it that much harder to forgive.