I heard the expression ā 10% Chemistry...90% Timingā a few weeks ago and itā s been bothering me ever since. The people discussing this formula were all in agreement that this is indeed the precise ratio in determining a potential coupleā s fate. Before I vehemently abolished this theory in an article, I wanted to see if other people I trusted and respected believed in this too. Was I alone in thinking this was the most unromantic, dreadful ratio in the history of ratios? Am I foolish to think that love is simply love and it transcends all things time and space? I knew I couldnā t form an opinion based solely on others though. I needed to delve into my past to see how I really felt about all of this, how Ive been affected by both chemistry and timing. Hesitant to bring it all up to the surface again, yet determined, I decided to review all my old journal entries, love letters and love interests to get some clarity.
Correlates of Urinary Albumin Excretion in Young Adult Blacks and ::
were determined using single untimed samples 10 and 15 years later. (systolic/diastolic blood pressure <140/90 mmHg and no use of antihypertensive drugs)
http://aje.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/full/158/7/676HOME |
What I found fascinated me. There are two words that Ive written, that I have always considered to be a salutation of sorts, at the end of almost every letter and every journal entry since the 90s. Those words are until then. Okay, I obviously know that Ive been writing those words, but I didnt realize the significance of them until right now. What exactly was I waiting until? Interestingly enough, I found that it was always someone to get back into town, someone to notice me, someone to kiss me, someone to realize that Im more than their buddy, someone to break up with their boring significant other, someone to give me a reason to break up with mine, etc. As much as I hate the concept of relationships being determined mainly by timing, it seems that I cant ignore its presence in my life.
BioMed Central | Full text | Rapid Diagnosis of experimental meningitis ::
For calorimetry, 10 l and 1 l CSF were added to 90 l and 99 l saline, widely used in biology, chemistry, pharmacology, biotechnology and ecology
http://www.biomedcentral.com/1471-2334/7/116HOME |
I should mention that about 5 years ago I met someone who turned my world upside down. And I should also mention that upon first handshake it wasnt love at first sight. No lightning bolts, no sparks, no zippity do das. What I knew about him was that he lived far away, had become friends with my college buddies which was why he was in town (came along for the ride), was here for only a weekend and had a girlfriend of 5 years. I was in a serious relationship as well and certainly not looking to get out of it. Well, it took about an hour before I think I really made eye contact with him and the moment I did, I knew I was in trouble. I didnt even think he was cute and he certainly wasnt my type...no, it wasnt that kind of trouble. It was worse. It was that Oh crap, I think youre going to be very significant in my life and theres absolutely nothing we can do to stop it because its already happening, right here, right now and Im about to burst if I look at you one second longer kind of trouble. And so it started.
Bad timing. Thats how we summed up our initial meeting. Its a bummer were both in serious relationships because maybe wed really like each other and maybe wed make a good match. Although, again, I dont even really like you and I cant believe your political views and your clothing is a bit weird and you live a million miles away. But, why do I feel like I shouldnt let you leave? Why do I want to kiss you? Wait...A-ha! We have CHEMISTRY! Insane, mind-blowing, gut wrenching, sick to stomach, euphoric, depressing, maddening, exhilarating chemistry! And on that note, goodbye!
From there on out, it was one bad timing story after another. For one example, Id be at the airport after just seeing him in his home town and Id be at the gate with a sour stomach and a voice inside me screaming Dont you get on that plane, go back there and find him! You know he likes you, hes being a wus! Do NOT get on this plane! So then Id start to change my flight and at the last minute have a major reality check and remember that hes on his way to meet his girlfriend and that Im the last thing on his mind. You already know what happens. I get on that plane, cry my whole way home, only to land and have 7 messages and texts from him saying Dont get on that plane, Im at the airport, its you, not her...etc. Great chemistry, bad timing.
Table of contents : Nature Reviews Immunology::
doi:10.1038/35100552. Gene therapy: Its all in the timing. p89 | doi:10.1038 p90 | doi:10.1038/35100557. Natural killer cells: Natural killer selection
http://www.nature.com/nri/journal/v1/n2/index.htmlHOME |
My journals are filled with stories like the one at the airport. Time went by, relationships ended, moments came and went. What I finally realized about this fine young gentleman was that the reason the timing was never right was because WE werent right. For whatever reason we came into each others lives, be it to shake things up, remind us not to settle, feel what true chemistry feels like, we both know were not the end all, be all. So if the timing is continually off then does that mean youre not actually supposed to be together, regardless of the chemistry? Isnt it strange that the Universe would make two people share this intense, undeniable feeling and yet not have them ever fulfill it?
And what about the others? Some were instant connections, some took years of friendship before coming to fruition, some were completely against my better judgment, some kept resurfacing. Theyre all different, but they all have something in common. They all happened at very specific moments in my life. I cant ignore that timing played a huge role in where these relationships went, how long they lasted, how deep the connection was and how they ended. Although, I have to say, the best ones started when I wasnt even paying attention. When I thought the timing was off. When I wasnt trying to find someone, when I was completely happy being footloose and fancy free. So, this all begs the question, is it really 90% timing? If we cant even recognize when its the right time then how can we bank on this?
Another thought arises from my research. Besides the ones who youve gotten closure with, what on earth do you do about the people that keep resurfacing in your life? The ones who you never stopped thinking about or who never stopped thinking about you. You would think that if it didnt work out once then its never going to work out, right? Maybe the sparks were there, but it never fully came into its own. Or, maybe it did once but it fizzled and now theyre back again and youre all confused because youre feeling that buzz again. I thought this was over! What about them? Is this a matter of timing or chemistry being off? Is it simply that the chemistry has been too weak to sustain a relationship, or has the moment just always been wrong?
I suppose my friend was right when he said that although this ratio seems completely unromantic on the surface, that theres actually something really beautiful about it. Isnt there something alluring about the idea of being able to finally fulfill a desire for someone with whom the timings been perpetually off? Its enticing, the idea that somewhere in the ebb and flow of it all, two people who have always felt love finally get to fall madly into each other. He says that this waiting, this hoping, makes the best love story at all. Although I have to point out, theres a fine line between waiting to eventually be with someone because you want the timing to be perfect and losing that person because you waited too long to go for it. Theres a phrase the one who got away for a reason. Someone didnt have the guts to make it happen even though they know they should have. This is the biggest tragedy of all.
Chemistry does matter. So does timing. I hate to admit it, but maybe the ratio is more accurate than I thought. However, I still want to believe that love conquers all and so Im petitioning for a recount. Maybe its 70%, 30%? I could live with that. Stevie Wonders I Believe (When I Fall In Love With You It Will Be Forever) just came on. I couldnt ask for a more inspiring song for a hopeless romantic like myself. Until then...
 How much does getting a small tattoo on your hip/stomach hurt?
 Do anyone else have an itchy anus? ?
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90% Timing, 10% Chemistry